


Unsolved Omens

by zezo



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-12-16 07:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21032603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zezo/pseuds/zezo
Summary: The Unsolved team investigates an eccentric English bookshop causing the reunion of two of the few rebel agents of Hell





	1. The Ghoul boys are in town

The unsolved team was on the road heading for a new supernatural hotpot. In this season, their budget was higher than usual which allowed them to make a tour investigating all kinds of European cryptids. As usual it wasn't the folkloric beasts and mythological creatures what got into Ryan but their season mandated demon investigation. 

“What has gotten into you, Ryan?” he said grinning “Where are we going that makes you so nervous?” 

“First of all, you know demon's episodes always bring the worst of me out, I can't nor I won't get used to it…” 

“Right, right” 

“... It's not only that. I mean, the places we visit tend to scream 'haunted/possessed!' to attract tourists and people like us, but this place wasn't even on the map until a few weeks ago their yelp review page went semi viral. And still you can't barely find anything else about it.” 

“Now you got me hooked! What kind of place is this? An abandoned nuns hospital? A bombed church?” he pauses dramatically to gasp mockingly “Atlantis?” 

Ryan shakes his head in disapproval “Where do you even get these ideas? No, and I know, it's going to sound lame: a bookstore.” 

Shane wheezes “Do you think Harry Potter has anything to do with it?” 

Ryan shook his head “I believe we're going to be dealing with something a bit more dangerous than a few kids bibedi bobidi booing books to float” 

He gasped taking his hand to his chest “The disrespect!” 

“Anyway, I contacted the owner of the shop…” 

“The bookshop has an owner, case closed!” 

He sighed as long and as loud as his lungs permitted him “I contacted the owner of the shop for a private visit. The man only had a landline phone, can you believe that? This guy is living in the 21st century and he doesn't have a phone!” 

“He's probably some old man who doesn't understand how technology works cut him some slack.”

“Shane, I'm not even talking about social media accounts for his clearly infamous bookstore, he doesn't have an email account! As I mentioned earlier there's barely any trace of its existence online but here is what I could gather:

This bookstore has been open for as long as anyone in SoHo can remember, there are no records of it being built, bought or inherited for all its history”

“You know what this sounds to me? A mob cover. A lame one and original mob cover.”

“Yeah, I thought about that, it gets even weirder. It appears there aren't any records of the man who runs the shop, although he doesn't correct people when they call him Mr Fell.” 

“You mean like the name of the Bookshop he is running?” 

“Yeah but it's speculated that may be a reference to him being a fallen angel. Anyways that's only the tip of the iceberg.” he made a dramatic pause for what Shane eyes rolled “The locals asure the man doesn't age at all and that even though he tends to be a kind man, he'll go to extreme extents to avoid anyone from buying his books.”

“So, let me get this right. A middle-aged bookshop owner who doesn't want you to buy his books? Is this our great demon investigation of the season?” 

“Yeah I think that's what we can safely conclude without getting into conspiracies.”

“What a silly thing to do! Imagine being an immortal being, having all the time in the world to do everything and anything and spending it staying guarding a bookshop hoarding moldy old books for decades! ”

“From what I've gathered, it's implied he may have been there not for decades but centuries.”

“If that were true our demon would be in serious need of a life.” Shane suddenly turned his head to the street as if he heard something. 

“What's wrong?” Ryan chuckled because of his friend's actions.

“Is this the place?” 

“A. Z. Fell & Co, yes, if I remember correctly you do too know how to read.” 

He was frozen. “This may not be a good idea after all.” 

“Shane Madej, are you telling me the spooky London bookshop is what's going to do it for you? Our first investigation in a place without a known record of at least 13 people getting murdered and you finally break? Will you finally admit that ghosts and other paranormal entities are real and all it took was this?” 

“Ryan it's not the damned bookshop it's the…” 

A voice interrupts him from upstairs “Angel, your visitors have arrived!” 

  
  


“I suppose that solves the name mystery, huh?” 

“Yeah…” 

A middle aged man arrived rushing down the stairs. He looks exactly as you'd imagine the gentle librarian who helps the heroes on a magic quest described in fantasy books. His clothing style seems to be stuck in the early 20th century but in the magical realm they appear to be in, they are the outsiders, somehow looking even younger by unintentionally profaning a time capsule. 

The man doesn't seem to mind. 

“Excuse me for making you wait gentlemen. Would you like a cuppa along with the visit?” 

“Thank you sir, that would be perfect.” He offered his hand for a handshake “I am Ryan and my friend over here is Shane, I suppose you would be the mysterious Angel Z Fell?” 

The man blushed “I believe there must have been some kind of misunderstanding. You see, my name is Anthony Zira Fell, Angel is just a pet name. Humans tend to refer to me as Mr Fell for short.” 

“Sorry for that.” he didn't miss Mr Fell referencing people as 'humans' 

“Don't worry dear, happens all the time” he glances upstairs “Love, why don't you bring out some tea for our guests!”

“On it!” The voice replied. 

“So you are here to investigate the 'phenomena' occurring on my local, is that correct?” 

They nodded 

“Do as you need, but please don't light any matches or candles, it's really important understood?” 

“Yes sir” 

Mr Fell cordially smiled “I'll call when the tea is ready.”

Ryan left the room smiling

“Seems kind enough” 

“I don't like him” 

“Of course you don't like him. This is the first nice place we get to visit.”

“I don't know, it's just that I don't trust him.”

“I'm pretty sure that man has been made out of marshmallows and love. How can you not see that?” 

“That's what scares me.”

Meanwhile in the kitchen an angel and a demon prepare hot beverages for everybody. They offered their guests coffee because that's the 'British thing to do' and these people are here for the full experience so no harm letting them have some fun. But even if this particular angel and demon have been living London longer than anybody, their favorite hot beverages are still those that resent their souls: hot cocoa with all kinds of toppings for the angel and coffee, as dark and black as the night when confronting anyone else but the angel, then with a lot of sugar, cream and if he is feeling fancy, even condensed milk. Coffee is done, but cocoa and tea will take another couple of minutes so Crowley is sprawled on the island eating marshmallows and Aziraphale smiles with the sight. 

“Who did you say these men were?” 

“Some lovely ghost hunter fellows from a silly show on the internet.” He begins to pace” I thought if they showed them there's nothing supernatural in my shop and they would make those nasty people leave us alone.”

“That's exactly the opposite of how these things work, Angel.” He paused to pop another marshmallow into his mouth “ If you let one in the next day you'll be flooded by requests of other people trying to lash on them.”

“Oh dear.” he exasperated 

“Oh dear, indeed.” He chuckled “Who are they anyway? The show's name?” 

“Bee… Bee something unknown” 

“Buzzfeed Unsolved!? We have the crew from Buzzfeed Unsolved roaming around the bookshop and you didn't tell me!?” 

He run away leaving a quite amused husband to figure the rest on his own 

“Where are you going, love?” 

“My 'Hey there demons' mug isn't going to sign itself!” 

“Have fun!” 

He almost jumped to the first floor out of excitement only restraining himself as he remembered they were looking for demons and although their methods may not be 'correct', he doesn't want to call anyones attention. 

“Hi” huff “I'm Mr Fell's husband and I was wondering if…” 

His eyes locked on Shane “Husband…?” 

Oh

And with a snap time stopped… 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Discussion over tea

And with a snap time stopped. 

The occult entities were no longer at the shop but in an alternative version of it. Much darker and colder. Their friends were nowhere to be seen. All the ambiance noise one usually curses for common headaches was gone leaving place for an almost uncanny silence. And the sound of a clock. 

“Hey there Crowley, it's been a while.” his tone was friendly enough not to pick up a fight still demonstrating he would in case of need. 

“Have they sent you?” Crowley isn't as subtle, after all, this is his domain. He couldn't stop pacing. 

Shane shrugged and internally sighed “I haven't worked for downstairs in a really long time.”

“Good, good.” his sight got lost thinking

“Speaking of goodness, really?” 

That brought Crowley back. He smirked “We met 6000 years ago. Something was bound to happen.”

“You know what? Don't tell anybody I said this, but good for you.” he smiled “Talking about our companionships, my friend over there isn't dangerous, but he carries holy water with him, so I'd be careful.” 

“That's always good to… bad to… you get me” he grinned “So you're just gonna film around the bookshop for a show? No major motive?” 

Shane nodded 

“Would you like for us to put on some kind of show?” 

“Well now that you suggest it, he has this silly thing, a 'spirit box',” he frowns. “I loathe it, see what you can do to freak him out.”

“Will do. We won't overdo it of course, Shaneiak forever.”

“So the Great Demon Crowley, the one who challenged Satan Himself, deserted to watch silly ghost hunting shows?”

“First of all I am retired and secondly that's a bold thing to say coming from the Terrible Demon Shane, who stars in said silly show to begin with” 

“Touche” 

Crowley shifted in his feet, guilt built up his spine but he had to do it. After all, that was the reason he came here “Before I undo this, would you mind…” he bit his lips “Would you mind signing me this?” 

Shane's eyes triangled from Crowley's expression, to his hands, where he found a coffee mug and then to the similar themed shirt the owner didn't seem to remember was wearing. He chuckled. 

“Do you want me to sign this for Crowley or would you rather it being for the OG tempter?” 

“To the snake of Eden, if it pleases you so.” 

“... to The Snake…” 

“Wait no!” 

“It's alright Crowley, I know what you meant” 

  
  


Another snap, time began again. They tried to act as if nothing happened. Tried.

Ryan's voice unpaused “Don't be like that” 

“It's ok, I should have introduced you”

“Do you know each other?” 

“I don't even know anymore” he laughed “You got married! To Aziraphale!” 

Ryan smiled warmly

“Oh come on!” 

“Where did your good old rivalry go?” 

“You know that was just a facade, we worked for opposite sides” 

“Opposite sides?” 

“Umm, yep audio books that's… Business was like the wild west” 

He elbowed Crowley “Some would say it was literal Hell.” 

“Oh, you meet him at work? I didn't know you had worked as a voice actor”

“I haven't, we shared a couple of gigs with his audio company.” 

“Tea is ready!” Aziraphale reminded 

“In a minute, Angel!” 

“So you married Mr.Fell” 

“I believe so, I mean if not I should return a couple of wedding presents” He showed them his ring “He doesn't like friends to call him "Mr Fell" he usually goes by Aziraphale” 

“Are you sure about that?” said Ryan raising an eyebrow

“Friends of my friends are my friends. And his by extension.” 

“Aziraphale Fell, that's a weird name and a weird coincidence” 

“Once I met a doctor named Martín Martín Martínez, some parents don't know what to name their children. And actually it was Aziraphale Ziraphale Fell” he winked “To this day I wonder if he didn't marry me just to get rid of it. 

Let's go get that tea”

  
  
  


“Mr. Fell…” 

“Just Aziraphale, please” 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Aziraphale rumor says you've owned this shop since it's opening, is that true?” 

“That would be correct! I've been the proud owner of this establishment since its opening in…” 

*snap*

“Angel, I know you want to be sincere but you cannot flat out tell them you are an immortal being, understood?” 

“Alright Love, let's do this again.” 

*snap*

“That was, weird...” 

“How so?” 

“My Obulus went crazy for a bit. It captured a snap” 

“A snap?”he looked at Crowley, reprimanding “How strange”

“Yeah right” 

“Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I didn't answer your question. I had inherited this bookshop from my father, it's a family business we all tend to look alike, so I suppose that's where the immortality myth comes from.” 

“I don't think I mentioned that” 

He nervously shrugged “Oh dear everyone asks me about that. Don't people know how rude it is to ask about someone's age?” 

“I suppose it is” 

And then something weird happened. Crowley started talking, but his lips didn't move. In fact his voice came from a little box sitting in the middle of the room, as loud and clear as a radio transmission. 

“A̵n̶g̵e̷l̷,̴ ̴y̷o̶u̵ ̴s̴h̷o̴u̶l̶d̶ ̴b̶e̶…” 

“What the… ” Ryan interjected 

“Fuck!” Shane shouted frustrated “You guys are dumb or what?” 

“What's happening?” Ryan tried snatching his holy water but his hand didn't move “What's happening?” He repeated with urgency as nobody answered. 

Shane gave Crowley and Aziraphale a sharp look then turned to Ryan and tried calming him down “It's alright, let's talk about it…” 

“What happened Shane?” his voice cracked. 

“Look if you allow us to explain…” 

“I don't want your explanation now .You knew what was happening all this time and did nothing about it.” 

“There was a reason. Now please if you just listen to me” 

“And for some reason you decided I wasn't trustworthy of it. I needed to see it for myself for you to admit there is something wrong. What are you not telling me?” he pointed the holy water at him

Crowley snapped again “Oh, bugger all this” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long.  
I had some global exams and I needed some time to study.  
Each time I wrote anything I kept deleting it thinking it wasn't enough so I'm sorry if it's a little rushed but I needed to get something out to unblock myself.  
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll try to update sooner next time!


End file.
